HAPPY PILL

"Life is like a box of chocolate, you'll never know what you'll gonna get."

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Insomnia attack



Lately I've been  a lil bit insomniac, something that is keeping me so hot headed lately at work. Sometimes i ponder if was it because these people around are really to be blamed or was it because of my limited  hour of sleep that's making me easily irritated? I am really trying my very best to sleep but i guess my bed wasn;t so inviting at all. I couldn't blame others for this coz I think they are behaving so well for me to get my well deserve end of the day hibernation. Then what could be causing my insomnia attacks?

I just want to get a good sleep at the right time of the day, not on the hours that i am at work or i should be doing other things. I wanna enjoy morning routines instead of sleeping because my bed seems to be attracting my back at those hours of the day. My night should be on snozzing and not having wide awake eyes until the dusk of dawn cracks.






Saturday, September 15, 2012



Happy Feet





A bit lost in nowhere so keep hanging on til i can grasp more time and be back in my little blogging world.






 Wishes and prayers  


I wanna explore more, be a traveler rather than a tourist




I'm no longer a lonely traveler for I have found someone who will hold my hand as I explore life. 


Someone who will not hesitate to  join me in all my weird travelentures and escapades, someone to share the beauty of living.


Someone more than willing to accept and love all that I am.


Let us continue travelling and finding more things about us.



Getting lost is never this fun if you are beside me, contradicting every decision and following my track . 
Let's get lost again and find out how patiently we can be make it through despite and inspite all the wrong train codes and missed stations.
But above all, lets get lost and drown ourselves with love, basically this is what it's all about isn't it?


Why don't we try getting lost and let our happy feet trek down the streets of China, stumbling down the Great Wall of China or try running on the crazy streets of Ho Chi Minh, get sun kissed in the beaches of Bali or let's do temple marathon in Cambodia?


The bottom line is, wherever we may go, what matters is you are beside me and together we can conquer the world in no time.














Friday, March 23, 2012

my life here right now and the internet are the same....we both sucks!
im not blogging, im doing an every minute/every hour status update. #parang buhay fb lng
I"m missing my only connection to people i rarely talk to, people whom i got reconnected again for the past years, old classmates, old friends, acquiantances, close friends and mostly my family whom i get to talk everyday through that.  Nakakabaliw na nga ang buhay sa disyerto ipagkakait pa sayo ang tanging libangan mo.  I can't stand the fact that no matter how great a love could be, sometimes that love will also be the cause of someone's pain. 




 
the person who gives you unexplained happiness, will always be the reason for your unexplained sadness....
 ##missingmyfb:-((((((
Sometimes it ends in love....sometimes it ends in hurt.....

ang pag-untog ng ulo sa pader ay di ibig sabihin na ito'y gawain ng isang baliw.minsan ito'y paraan ng pagkuha ng lakas at pandagdag buhay:)

--SUPER MARiO 

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Friday, March 16, 2012

Part of one's existence is the inevitable acceptance that pain do exist and it's nobody's control. No matter how we avoid the encounter, we cannot run from reality that in certain points pain is just there, popping uninvitedly.  In however way  can I cope from the stabbing pain, confusion, shame and  fear i really can't answer nor someone can define it to me. I am still learning, discerning which path i will  walk  through and where will I start to live my life the way I want it to be. I don't want to be the cause of other's pain nor be the reason for their hatred. I just want things to be balance...no pain, no sorrow, no regrets and anger.
I don't want to think and fear of the possibilities, of chances and of encounters. I don't want to be cursed nor be stepped on when things turned rough and rocky. My fear extends beyond my imaginations. 
Will I ever be in the  sane state in days to come or will I be able to face all that's been boggling my mind lately? I am really into a very untidy, crumpled mindset at the moment and all I wholeheartedly asking is a few distance of silence and understanding. 
I am not in my most sane  well-being right now, i must admit.

sorry

sorry

my heart is hurting, my eyes are red,
i cannot sleep, i cannot eat
until i tell you how sorry i am.
what i did wasn't right
i wish i could take it back
for this pain i can't bear anymore.
no words good enough to say
apologies is all i can convey.
please know that i am sincere

i know that i have hurt you
wish i could take it back
and do it all over again.
those words should not have been spoken
but i realize i was so wrong,
i hurt your feelings so badly.
lets make it right,
make it true.


i fear darkness clouding us both,
but maybe this darkness will show the light,
the path to where we truly belong.
i hate decisions,
but this i must face bravely..

when times were harsh,
and times were rough
i ran and hide.

if only i can rewind time even for just a few hours...

if only i wasn't too impulsive....

if only  i'm brave enough....

if only.....


out of words

We are often mislead by our impulsive burst of emotions not thinking twice nor thrice of the consequences of our actions. And the worst part is not being able to get out of the way without harming and hurting someone's feelings.

 I consider myself the worst of it's kind, someone so undeserving of all the goodness of someone's heart. I am lost in words and thoughts on how to recuperate from my unguarded actions. I got so hooked to the happy feeling, the certainty of ideas that things will work out fine the way I pictured it to be. But days passed and I came into realization that in order for me to fully express my love for others i must "love and "respect" myself, my whole being first. That for now I owe myself some time to regain whatever was lost during my carefree days.

I am so ashamed of my actions, no words to express how bad I am.


I choose

I choose.......

to live by choice, not by chance
to make changes not excuses
to be motivated, not manipulated
to be useful, not used
to excel, not to compete.


I choose self-esteem, not self pity
I choose to listen to my inner voice,
  not the random opinion of others.

Life is by the way I choose it to be and not what people wants it for me.


Friday, February 17, 2012

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

masalama na ba talaga to?

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.


Nakakalungkot isipin na kung kelan nakahanap na ako ng mga matatawag kong kaibigan at kasangga dito sa mainit na disyerto ay saka naman nila kami bubuwagin at paghihiwahiwalayin. Nakakainis talaga ang sistemang pinapairal ng ilang tao sa paligid namin. Ayoko mang isipin pero ginagawa na nilang hobby na maglipat ng mga tao na hindi nila kasundo. Kawawa naman ang aking mga friendly kabayan nurses at kaberks, lipat bahay na naman ang drama nila. Ang mahirap pa nito hindi ko alam kung kasama din ba ako sa lipat bahay na ito o ako na lang ang maiiwan sa mumunting ospital ng dhamad.
Pero sabi nga nila, "we only part to meet again". At sa bawat pintong nagsasara mas malaking bintana ang bubukas para sa mas magandang pagkakataon. Ako ba? May bintana pa kayang bubukas sa akin pag nagsara na ang pintuan ng disyerto? Think positive, ika nga ng mga kaberks.
Sana kung matuloy man ang napipintong lipat bahay ng mga tao sa ospital, sana mas maayos pa ang mapuntahan namin. At sana sumaya na ang  mga maiiwanan namin na mga tao dahil mawawala na sa paningin nila ang mga Ilocanang magaganda at matatalino, hehe! (pagbagyan na ang mga palalayasin, lol!)


eat, work, sleep



Ang buhay sa disyerto ng isang OFW na babae ay nahahati lamang sa 3 bahagi...kumain, magtrabaho at matulog. Sa lugar kung saan hindi basta nakakalabas ang mga babaeng tulad ko ng basta basta ano pa nga ba ang pinaka mainam na gawin maliban sa tatlong nabangkit ko. Nakakasawa, nakakabagot at walang kamatayang homesick ang mararamdaman m sa ganitong klaseng buhay...napaka "redundant" kung iisipin.

Sa isang gaya ko na sanay gumala, sanay na hindi hinihigpitan sa bawat paglabas labas ng bahay mahirap ito. Kalayaan, isa din ito sa pinagkakait sa mga kababaihan dito sa parte ng disyerto na kinatatayuan ko. Ultimo paglabas mo lang ng flat kailangan naka "abaya" ka, isang itim na damit na takip ang buo mong katawan, mula leeg hanggang sa kadulo duluhan ng iyong sakong. Hindi ka pwedeng basta na lang rumampa sa mga pasilyo ng flat, umakyat baba sa mga palapag ng hindi ka naka abaya, kung hindi ikaw din ang kawawa. Isipin m na lang na nakashorts ka at nangapit flat ka at bigla kang nakasalubong ng lalake sa pasilyo...sge nga,ano ang gagawin mo?  Ewan ko lang kung hindi ka magtatakbo pabalik sa pinanggalingan mo. Isang bagay yan na dapat mo alalahanin. Dapat lagi mong pangalagaan ang legs mo (hehehe!), at ang reputasyon mo, kung ayaw mo na pagnasaan ka ng hostel director o ng Hospital Director pag nasalubong mo sya sa hostel building.


Kumain....
      Kung bored ka at mahilig ka mag eksperimento sa kusina, match tayong dalawa. Ito ang isa sa mga hilig kong libangan dito sa disyerto. Hindi ako magaling magluto, pero magaling akong maghalo halo ng kung ano anong mga sahog para lutuin at lafangin. Sa inaraw araw na pagpagluluto ko, namaster ko na yata ang pag bake ng ibat ibang klase ng manok, ang pagluto ng ibat ibang lasa ng beef steak at pagprito ng isda sa ibat ibang spices. Nakakaaliw na natuto din akong magbake ng iba't ibang cakes dahil na rin sa dami ng supply nmn na asukal, gatas at murang harina dito. Kaya pag uwi ko at ng iba ko pang mga kasama dito, pwede na siguro kaming magsosyo sa isang resto-bakery, db ang taray!

Magtrabaho....
       Matapos mo pagsawaan ang mga amoy ng sunog na cakes sa kusina, trabaho na ulit. Sa inaraw araw na pagpunta mo ng ospital eto ang laging eksena...mga pasyente papacheck up...kung si baba (papa) may sakit kasama na sa check up si mama at pati mga bitbit na  busura (mga anakis) ipapacheck up na din. At magsasawa ka na araw araw mong kaharap ay mga reklamo lng sa sipon, sakit ng ulo at balakang, pati nga dysmenorrhea na susme naman, kahit sa bahay lng kaya mo namang gamutin mag isa. Yan yata kasi ang kulang sa parteng ito ng mundo, they lack health education. Kung sa pinas lng siguro ang simpleng sakit ng ulo ay alam na ni manong neybor na biogesic lang katapat nyan, naku dito iba. Dapat si friendly Doctor pa ang magsabi ng iinumin nila...susko naman, mahabaging Lord! At ewan ko ba bakit parang parte na ng check up satisfaction rating nila na dapat may maiturok sa kanila para masabi nila na ginamot sila ng ospital na ito. Sa parte ko na durugista, este Pharmacist pala, (hehehe!) dapat maibigay ko lahat ng gamot na kailangan nila, kung hindi lagot ka. Madami, lalo na ung mga feeling eh masisindak  nila ako sa taas ng boses nila ang magpipilit na magbigay ako ng gamot. Buti nlang natuto na din akong makipagsagutan at makipagpilitan ng nalalaman ko....wala nang lusot sa akin ang mga addict sa voltaren at paracetamol, hehe! Ang pinaka aliw na parte, pag me ayaw ako o me bastos na pasyente, sabihin ko lng kay friendly kabayan nurse na bastos si mr/ms. saudi at sya na ang bahala sa mahabang karayom panturok...hehhe! lagot ka ngayon! akala mo nakalusot ka na ginawa mo sa akin, pwes humanda ka kay friendly kabayan nurse, sya ang gaganti para sa akin. Kidding aside,  masaya ang buhay ko sa trabaho, walang masyadong hassle, mababait ang mga kasama ko, maayos ang working schedule ko . Marahil na rin dahil maayos din naman akong katrabaho kaya ganun.

Matulog...
      Kailangan ko pa bang ipagsigawan na ito na ang pinaka nakakaumay na pwede mong gawin sa disyerto? Iniiwasan ko na ma addict sa ganitong bisyo, hehehe! bisyo na pala ngayn ang pagtulog. Kung dati kada tawag ng aking munting kama ay bibigay na ako ngayon nilalabanan ko na, ang hirap din pala ng busog sa tulog, nakakastress din pala ung laging kama m nlng ang kapiling mo, hehehe!

Ilan lang ito sa mga nararanasan ko dito sa disyerto, minsan nakakaaliw, minsan nakakabaliw.
Hindi bale, ilang tulog nalng sahuran na naman... ang pinaka paborito kong araw sa buong bwan.
Next blog ko nmn ang buhay ng isang shoppaholic sa disyerto ang ibabahagi.


hakuna matata!