Part of one's existence is the inevitable acceptance that pain do exist and it's nobody's control. No matter how we avoid the encounter, we cannot run from reality that in certain points pain is just there, popping uninvitedly.  In however way  can I cope from the stabbing pain, confusion, shame and  fear i really can't answer nor someone can define it to me. I am still learning, discerning which path i will  walk  through and where will I start to live my life the way I want it to be. I don't want to be the cause of other's pain nor be the reason for their hatred. I just want things to be balance...no pain, no sorrow, no regrets and anger.

I don't want to think and fear of the possibilities, of chances and of encounters. I don't want to be cursed nor be stepped on when things turned rough and rocky. My fear extends beyond my imaginations. 

Will I ever be in the  sane state in days to come or will I be able to face all that's been boggling my mind lately? I am really into a very untidy, crumpled mindset at the moment and all I wholeheartedly asking is a few distance of silence and understanding. 

I am not in my most sane  well-being right now, i must admit.

sorry